`my own fairytale <3.

13.8.07

i really dont understand. and i hate myself for not understanding. i can never tell when someone is sad, when someone is emo, and i hate it. i hate being so insensitive. i can stupidly go skipping about, laughing and everything, and not knowing that someone is feeling sad or angry. and when i know, i dont know what to do. i tried changing, i became easily affected by people's mood, but after all the trying, i am still the insensitive me. but its just so much less tiring to be the hateful insensitive me. can i choose to be selfish?

i was bored at 6:21 PM

9.7.07

xuefen decided to make people cry instead. so heres her official declaration of love :)

to the whole gang: coming to jc was like a damn big change for us. we no longer go to the same classroom, no longer have the same time table, no longer crap together in school and after school. most of us changed, including me. but what i wanna say is that i really really love all of you. looking back, i realised i changed in the past 2 years. you all helped shape the xue fen that everyone sees now. and we are like the weirdest combination of frens one could ever ask for. but still, it just feels so comfortable with everyone around me. you guys are just like another family to me. it never occurred to me that we might drift apart after gng into jc. and the 1st few months was like disappointing. coz people changed and i happily assumed that we do not really care much about each other already. But i guess I was wrong. Now that we no longer see each other as often, I really treasure each and every second we spend together. Although I kept saying Celebration lyrics are damn sad and pessimistic, deep down, I know it is true. After 2 more years, we will change schools, some might go overseas, our social circles change, basically, everything changes. but I want all of you to know, no matter how much xuefen changes, she will always be there for all of you.

hai: my memory rocks! hahah. All the crappy stuff that we talk about, like our inspirations, our million-dollar plans, the minimum income we need to survive on (I bet you forgot about this!), our never-ever-worked diet plans…given my good memory..i will rmb (: thanks for being my bimbotic crappy gossipy laopo!

bish: you always tell me loads of stuff, den happily tell me don’t think so much when you know its impossible -.- but because of you and Fiona, I guess I can say I kinda became more sensitive to people around me? Ok..i know I am still quite insensitive but theres improvement! :D thanks for stuffing me with chocolates and food. Hahah. I will always be there for you bombard me with crap and rubbish and stupid stuff!

fio: for always pangsehing you on the phone coz I want to sleep, SORRY! You are always “suaning” and “bullying” me, but I know 你很疼我 :D like bish, you told me stuff that really made me think, and I am grateful for that. Coz at least im not as insensitive. thanks for trusting me, thanks for being there when I am bored, thanks for taking care of me (:

jo: I guess we only got really close this year. But I will never forget all the crappy lame zokes you and char made. Haha. You never fail to make me laugh, even when I am emo-ing. And that is really zai. love you!

char: my bikini-loving-son! Daddy loves you!

iris: -pokes-

jess: always pangseh us!! Haha.but we understand(: just rmb to keep paying me money! *zokes zokes*

and also….

Nic: hey darling! thanks for takng care of me these four years, like correcting all my eng grammar mistakes. Haha. You are exactly like my sis lah. Although we might not talk as often now, since theres llike no more jinx busstop and white, but I always feel comfortable around you. Im really really grateful to have a bestie like you, and yes…I will tell you everything ok! (: *ps. I LOVE JAMES!~~~

Ying: I hope you will come box me after reading this? Haha. I miss going home with you! Ok..xue fen’s good memory remembers that we used to be damn scared that we will drift apart when we split class in sec 3. so we proved ourselves wrong! We must all find someday to go home together! (: and must tell me everything *ahem* that happened too!(:

Ali: stupid girl! Always pangseh us for stupid excuses. Must go back and visit our plants someday!! And what happened to meeting up during the hols? Come online more often and stop daoing us when you see us in school!

Fel: sorry for pangsehing you so many times!! I promise promise we will go out one day ok?? (: and I know you really want me and ying to attend your church stuff… but I guess I just don’t feel comfortable during services. But i went to the play thing!! (: stay high!

Mell, laopo, yihuiii, siyun, laufun and 6k girls: thanks for listening to all my crap since jan. some of your emo-ed with me…consoled me..help me de-stress...laugh at my lame and not funny jokes…a BIG thank you for all these! xue fen loves you! (:

i was bored at 9:05 PM

9.2.06

yay!!! ok...2dae is e offical 1 yr and dunno how many mths anniversay of the trio of jinx busstop!!!:D finally we find a time that all three of us are free:) ok...we all sacrificed alot ok:D nic sacrified her time and tuituion, yy sacrified her time by taking 4 buses, her two bucks and i sacrified my starving diet, my one buck and my health by being drenched...i am so nice loh...let yy and nic have the umbrella...haha...but it is all worth it!!! :) today is fun:) haha...esp when we are at the busstop trying to take photos and preventing ourselves from getting splashed by the water....it really feels like when we are sec 2....when we all go crazy and start singing or croaking to songs like ai ni...lalala...yy and nic!!! we should do it more often!!!!:D yay!!

finally i got both my nice pics with 2 cute guys!!!!lalalal....e red guy and bryan!!!lalalal..yay!!:D

i was bored at 6:59 PM

3.2.06

i am sick of rs...so i decided i should start posting again:P hmmm....cny was fun...ang baos and all the goodies!!:) but sigh..i gained weight AGAIN....and its visible ok...my sis pointed it out. Sigh..i should really starve myself to diet...AFTER i finish all the new year goodies at home..heh...don't waste food mah... and yupps...cny was really fun...went to malaysia on tues with my family and cousins n stuff....its this like one day tour thing and i actually got to see ostrich mating, laying eggs(the ostriach just lay her egg right after mating loh...like how fast can that be??) and a small ostrich breaking out of its egg...so cool!!! oh yah...and the females are normally bald after mating...like their feathers are all gone..and the guy said that it is due to the males..they are like violent...gross....but the young ostrichs are super cute loh...they are so tiny and when they bite you...it just feel like a pinch and you can feel their saliva on your fingers...it sounds gross lah..but they are really super cute!!!

then after dinner, we went to watch fireflies...its really very pretty...we like sat on this boat into the river where no one stays and you can see clumps of sparkling twinkling stuff on certain trees...they look like christams trees...damn nice:) and some fireflies even flew near the boat...so you can like see a a light blinking and flying at the same time....super nice!!

then on wed...me char and yy went to watch i not stupid too...its super nice!!!its like funny and touching...i basically cried throughout half of the showits damn sad....but very nice!!!go watch it!!!!its better then the first movie(: like there are super funny scenes when that small guy jerry thought he made this cute girl pregnant by kissing her, holding her hand and sleeping with her..so he bought like tons of pineapple to make her miscarriage...and in the end she had a stomachache and they went to the doctor...and they told the doctor she was pregnant and the doctor was like who bullied you? who is the father? and the jerry was like "shi wo de!"...the scene is super funny! and theres this scene when all the older guys are watching porn and the jerry saw it and asked " wei shen me na ge uncle yi zhi zhuang na ge aunty??" hahaha....i wanna watch it again!!!!

then today...for bio...we watched the gross video on giving birth...its damn gross loh...the baby head is so big...so you can imagine how big the hole have to be :s and the woman was liek screaming all the way...it looked super painful..that video like make me even not want to give birth next time lah...gross....

sigh..i spent enough time slacking liao...i shall go back to my disappointing rs...:(

i was bored at 8:52 PM

22.1.06

woah...great..i fell sick...its been ages since i fell sick..i even forgot how it feels like...it seriously feels very nice...like i have to wake up a million times during my sleep cause its so cold...when the aircon is not switched on and the fan is not blowing at me...basically..i feel hot with the blanket over me..but i still shiver under it...urgh...and its one of the very very few times that i wake up at 7 plus ON MY OWN ACCORD on a weekend....sigh....and i feel super weak when i don't eat my breakfast and if i eat..i feel like puking everything out....and i have a headache since i woke up...and sorethroat too....this is so great...and the best thing is...IT IS NOT A WEEKDAY! which means i cannot get mc and pon school...cause i have a feeling i can recover by tomorrow....so i shall not eat medicine and hopefully my body immune system is that lousy:) heh...

i was bored at 9:59 AM

21.1.06

okies...i am waiting for the scanner to load so i can help my cousin do her stuff...i am such a nice girl:) so i decided to blog!!!yupps..and char...see? i am tying in normal english:) so my emglish will not go from bad to worse:) hahas...nothing to blog about...ok...i shall blog about our physics teacher!!hes damn amusing!!! he is so blur and his actions are so comical!!i basically laughed the whole way through the previous lesson...he tried to work this program from this website and he cannot change the settings to show us the difference in the motion of the particles....and he fiddle around and finally lynette pointed out that it might be numlock..so he was like "ohhh" and the whole class was laughing away and he treat it as though nothing happen and continued...damn funny!!! i am so going to love physics lessons from now on :)

sigh...the printer is taking forever:( it is still halfway through...hmmm....asembly yesterday was fun...its like my most attentive assembly since p1:p the speaker is so funny and he inspired me to diet:p haha..i can hear hy char shoosh and fel going "it will not work like the millions of diets in the past" lalala...as usual...i don't care...it will work THIS TIME:) heheh....at least i will try:) the scanner is done...i shall go figure how to work it:)

i was bored at 9:25 PM

15.1.06

im blogging!! n yes jieshi..not becoz of ur nagging ok..but coz im realli bored:p..

ok...i decided..i shall complain about my stupid irritating aunty...argh....shes realli irritating...i was like in e kitchen peacefully getting my lunch..minding my own business...den she decided 2 start interrogating me..1st she asks....y dun i want to gif birth...den i started listing crappy ans lyk it will make me fat....den she asked me again "if you dun wanna give birth..then get married 4 wad?" like is it a must to get give birth once you are married...HELLO??...you are not the spokesperson 4 s'pore newest campaign in improving brithrate...yah...i was super pissed by now..so i went like i might not even get married in the 1st place....den she went "y?"...PLEASE...its my freedom 2 choose my marriage....does it affects you in any way???urgh...den she went on AGAIN "whats you criteria 4 a husband?"...den i gave a super normal ans like"he hafta be able to support the family which is obviously me"...she she went like.."carn you support urself?""y must you wait for your husbad to support the family?""carn you go out and work urself?"...ARGH...like its ok for a husbad to earn n support his family rite??she makes it seems lyk its e gravest mistake ever...like wadeva....basically she just thinks that woman r supposed 2 get married...give birth and work at the same time....please...even if your life is tt sad...it doesn't mean everyone hafta haf e same sad life as you??!!

so lesson of the day: stay clear of aunties who are teachers...or they may treat u as their students n start preaching illogical stuff...while you hafta stand there lyk an idiot holding onto ur lunch n listen to the great speech about how everyone shud lead e same sad life as her -_-

i was bored at 11:21 PM

yay!! i got a new pink template!!:)i added e pics, chose the template, changed e words below ALL BY MYSELF :D basically..i did almost everything...so...i have proven that i am NOT a computer idiot....at least i can learn how to operate blogs when i am bored...:)..n i realized it is actually quite fun to play around with html and look at the effects....so yups...heres my nice nice new template!:)

and yah...i need to thx char for helping me align the textarea....not tt i dunno how 2 do..its juz tt my coms screwed n weird alignments look ok on my com:S

ok...im too lazy 2 do links 2dae....so i shall go do it...erm....sometime when i feel like it....which may mean years later :p but its ok....it will eventually be up:)

i was bored at 4:07 PM